Not this year.
I'm just worn out. It was a fairly stressful day at work; lots of crying and loud children, some with bad attitudes. I feel better today than I've been recently - I let myself sleep in this morning and that was an improvement - but I just have a general feeling of worn-outedness.
I feel sort of like I'm running in place or standing still. I clean and the house stays the same amount of dirty, I do dishes and the sink is full again, I knit on the Christmas Tree of Life Sweater and it stays the same length, my cousin's Noro stiped scarf is taking forever - a bad omen for the one I'll be starting tomorrow which needs to be finished by Sunday.
Maybe I'm just frustrated because none of my knitting is really working out that well. I made a beautiful purple sock for my cousin that is just way way way too small. I'll knit a mate and give them to my mom instead (and the plan is to make cousin the other Noro scarf), but I'm disappointed, I admit it. I was also making my mom a really beautiful neckwarmer, so I thought, but then I had some other ideas and now I think I'd rather frog it and use the yarn for socks and get a different color for the warmer.
It seems nuts that the knitting could have me this down though. I mean, I do love that purple sock, in spite of the fact that it's too small for my cousin. And for having just embraced socks, I really should be pretty content with a few mistakes. Well, imperfections. To be honest, it's been a tough fall at work too, and that probably has more to do with my discontent than vague knitting related angst.
I've been reading the archives over at Yes I MADE That too, and I'm filled with crafter envy. I really want to have her fabric stash and be able to do some of the sewing projects she's got going on. Why do I never have any time? I have two part time jobs that don't add up to one real job - shouldn't I have the copious free time?
Maybe I'm not taking the transition well to being a non-school person - not used to not having a vacation. I don't know though - I've been out of school for two years now. Maybe that's it. Out of school for two years, and I still haven't published a single design, not even just on Ravelry. Time is moving quickly or I'm not moving at all.
I really think I just need to finish something though. I mean, finish it and have it be right and look good, not finish it and have it be too small. (I finished a hat that is too small for me today too - I'll have to frog to the decreases and add length.)
My dog has been sick too. Basically, he's in heart failure and the vet has said that he could easily go downhill very quickly and there's not much we can do to help him. Poor baby. He's still a bad boy who spilled a bunch of Mountain Dew on my yarn last night. I do love him though. He looks at you w
ith the goldeny eyes and I just can't help but melt.Wow. I really know how to bring down a room don't I? Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
Well, I've only got three days of school left and then it's off home for two weeks. Surely I can buck up enough to make it three more days.
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