Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A General Dearth of Christmas Spirit

I don't really know what's up with me this year, but I'm just not feeling the Christmas spirit. Christmas is my favorite time of year; typically the three months leading up to Christmas are my happiest most anticipatory months, and by now I'm usually all excited and cheery.

Not this year.

I'm just worn out. It was a fairly stressful day at work; lots of crying and loud children, some with bad attitudes. I feel better today than I've been recently - I let myself sleep in this morning and that was an improvement - but I just have a general feeling of worn-outedness.

I feel sort of like I'm running in place or standing still. I clean and the house stays the same amount of dirty, I do dishes and the sink is full again, I knit on the Christmas Tree of Life Sweater and it stays the same length, my cousin's Noro stiped scarf is taking forever - a bad omen for the one I'll be starting tomorrow which needs to be finished by Sunday.

Maybe I'm just frustrated because none of my knitting is really working out that well. I made a beautiful purple sock for my cousin that is just way way way too small. I'll knit a mate and give them to my mom instead (and the plan is to make cousin the other Noro scarf), but I'm disappointed, I admit it. I was also making my mom a really beautiful neckwarmer, so I thought, but then I had some other ideas and now I think I'd rather frog it and use the yarn for socks and get a different color for the warmer.

It seems nuts that the knitting could have me this down though. I mean, I do love that purple sock, in spite of the fact that it's too small for my cousin. And for having just embraced socks, I really should be pretty content with a few mistakes. Well, imperfections. To be honest, it's been a tough fall at work too, and that probably has more to do with my discontent than vague knitting related angst.

I've been reading the archives over at Yes I MADE That too, and I'm filled with crafter envy. I really want to have her fabric stash and be able to do some of the sewing projects she's got going on. Why do I never have any time? I have two part time jobs that don't add up to one real job - shouldn't I have the copious free time?

Maybe I'm not taking the transition well to being a non-school person - not used to not having a vacation. I don't know though - I've been out of school for two years now. Maybe that's it. Out of school for two years, and I still haven't published a single design, not even just on Ravelry. Time is moving quickly or I'm not moving at all.

I really think I just need to finish something though. I mean, finish it and have it be right and look good, not finish it and have it be too small. (I finished a hat that is too small for me today too - I'll have to frog to the decreases and add length.)

My dog has been sick too. Basically, he's in heart failure and the vet has said that he could easily go downhill very quickly and there's not much we can do to help him. Poor baby. He's still a bad boy who spilled a bunch of Mountain Dew on my yarn last night. I do love him though. He looks at you with the goldeny eyes and I just can't help but melt.

Wow. I really know how to bring down a room don't I? Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

Well, I've only got three days of school left and then it's off home for two weeks. Surely I can buck up enough to make it three more days.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Monday, December 8, 2008

Limiting Factors

I'm definitely finding that the limiting factor in the whole blogging adventure is photo-related. I keep accidentally killing the battery on Jorah's wee little camera, and mine still languishes with Nikon Corporate (which reminds me, I have yet to get an estimate on how much that is going to cost . . .) I know that I most enjoy those blogs which contain many beautiful pictures, but I can't seem to get that going on my own blog. I need a photojournalist to follow me around and take pictures of my stuff. And then upload the files to my computer.

These are things I'm going to try and photograph in the next few days:

  • The Jayne Hat I am making for Jorah for his birthday. Just needs a Pom-pom and I bought a pom-pom maker this weekend. (It filled me with crafter joy.)
  • The Zoe Hat I've been close to finished with for awhile. Also in need of a pom-pom.
  • The Christmas Tree of Life sweater I'm making for Jorah for Christmas.
  • The socks I'm making for Jorah for his birthday. (The post which includes pictures of these will also include a love letter called, "Dear Smooshy")
  • The elegant (I hope) neckwarmer that I'm making my mother for Christmas.
  • The Silk Garden scarf I'm making for one of my cousins for Christmas.
  • The alpaca shawl I've sort of been making for myself for the last eight months but I've barely started because I'm too lazy to wind the next ball, but today at the yarn store it was really cold and I said to myself, "I wish I had an alpaca shawl to keep me warm."
I think that's about all I've got going on right now. I made something this weekend, but I think it's ugly. I'm not sure. Pretty sure it's ugly. Not sure I'm going to show the blog. At least not until it's blocked.

Goal for this week: Photos.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Monday, December 1, 2008

Unfinished Object

Been a little sickly here recently. I got sick about a month ago and haven't been able to shake it. Probably the answer is just that I don't really take care of myself the way I should. I keep making these resolutions. I"m going to go to the gym, I'm going to eat better, I'm going to walk to work, to knit something for myself, to get more help at work . . . but it doesn't happen. I'm still pouring myself into work, when I should really be working on the knitting, and driving to work and not going to the gym or eating well. Or sleeping well. These last two weeks I've been waking up five and ten times a night.

I feel cold, and frayed, the way that I hope people I knit for don't feel. I have so much knitting to do for Christmas, for real knit worthy people but I feel a little oppressed. And Kate's bridal shower is coming up and I need to prep for that . . .

I make all of these resolutions for myself, but I never end up following through with them, and then I'm just cold and achey and cranky.

I feel like I want to make another resolution here, say it out loud that I'm going to start taking better care of myself, but I hardly think it will help.